Monday, December 11, 2006

This semester I learned a lot. The first thing I learned is that I can't spread myself too thin, something of which I do every year. This year in particular I learned that I should not do this. I end up being much too stressed and as the end of the semester approaches, I feel like locking myself in a closet until after the holidays. Working full time and using whatever time I can to fit school in, does not work. I knew it would be hard, but not this hard. On top of school and work, I also commit myself to doing stuff for other people. Why do I do this to myself? It is beyond me.

Another thing I learned, probably the most important concerning this blog. I can't find creativity if there absolutely no time at all for it. I can't simply look into the theory of creativity and make it happen, I need time to do it more than anything else. I know I have it in me... I've proved it to myself time and time again throughout my life. So, I think I just have to wait until I have more time.

There are so many factors that limit my creativity. Work, school, being married, being married is great, don't get me wrong but it takes up time just like work and school. If I was single, I would probably be 20 lbs lighter, malnurished but really fucking creative. So, what do I sacrifice here, my health and my love life for creativity? It'll happen when it happens, I am certain of it.

When school is over and I am finally graduated for the second time, there will hopefully be more time to work on my ideas and personal projects. When I can finally break into writing/illustrating children's books, I will hopefully be able to quit my job and do what I love full time. However, that may not be in the near future at all but it is down the road at some point.

So, all I can say is that with this being my 5th and final year in college, Thank GOD!

1 comment:

Moxy Ness said...

The first step is understanding why you are where you are. Now you can be the creative Melinda I know....I can't wait!

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